The Army of Darkness

Millions of them line up one after another, dark creatures of dust, devoid of feeling, unseeing, uncaring, soulless warriors that cause decay and destruction wherever they go. Flanking this seething mass of evil are even bigger monuments to horror. Dirty scarred pieces of mud caked warriors from foreign lands ride pieces of giant rocklike animals, violent grubby things that groan with venom and drip with muck. A disgusting filthy thing this army that stands; a living vile organism, seething and grinding, moving and alive.

What can anyone do against a dark power so vast? What hope can there be against the dark stench of brooding hatred that lies before us? Is the age of man over? Will the darkness consume all? Is the heralded end of the world nigh?

Not on my watch buddy. I plug the mighty device in. Like the sounds of Archangels flapping their wings in war lust the machine rings true. I can feel its unquenchable power in the very bones of my hands. No army will stand before me; no evil will survive my onslaught. This day I will come forth and all shall fall who stand in my path. And if anyone tries to stop me?

I pity the fool!

Like a legendary legend that will live on in legend I walk forth unafraid. The JetForce 2400W Cyclonic Bagless Vacuum roars in my hand like destiny. It vanquishes everything in sight, no dust can stand before its might, no piece of dirt or mud can stop its sheer power. Everything that it touches it turns clean, it purifies, chastises, and sterilizes everything in its path into hallowed ground.

Within seconds what was once a powerful unstoppable army of dirt has been…stopped. Has been taken out of existence. The JetForce and me are victorious. I stand triumphant looking down at a clean floor in utter pride.

Perhaps I am just doing some cleaning for Christmas, or perhaps I am battling an Army of Darkness. Either way, with the JetForce 2400 W victory is mine.