DreamCatcher

The Vikings cheer me on as I finish my twelfth mug of ale, Olaf thumps me on my back really hard sending me face first into the next table. Roaring with hearty mirth the warriors from that table pick me up and toss me back to the bar happily. Other than the Vikings this seems like a normal night for me. True I usually go for a Heineken but ale is good too. Come to think of it this doesn’t seem like any regular pub to me. I think the Dark Elves sitting at the corner table, the Minotaurs in the back playing darts with throwing knifes and the rather obese Dwarven Bartender might be a dead giveaway that this isn’t Melbourne anymore.

Which means only one thing. I have fallen into deep sleep on my new Ultra Sleep Deluxe Pillow Twin Pack, those things are so comfortable one moment I was resting my head, the next I was trading war stories with Viking warriors. That means this is one of THOSE dreams and the only thing about having one of THOSE dreams is that sooner or later The Leprechaun Whippleskin is going to show up and rain on my parade. Not this time, this time I am going to get that green clad pesky no-gooder once and for all.

First thing I do is buy a few dozen round of drinks for the Vikings, then once I have got them really drunk I start telling them about a money grubbing Leprechaun that thinks all Vikings are cowardly morons that fell down the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down only to land in a large puddle of stupid. This puts them in a terrible mood; I fan the flames further telling them that the Leprechaun Whippleskin personally told me that if ever comes across Vikings he would beat them to a pulp and then tap dance on their graves. This about does it.

Just as the Vikings are on the brink of a berserker rage lo and behold who steps in whistling and all cheerful but the Leprechaun Whippleskin himself. I take my mug up and give him a toast. He takes one perplexed look at me, looks at the Viking roaring and charging at him and flees like the wind. Smiling I continue to sip my drink as a wild ruckus ensues outside.

These Ultra Sleep Deluxe Pillows are awesome; I am in complete control of my dreams. Talk about a relaxing sleep, for the first time ever things are going right.

Suddenly I hear a complete silence outside. Either the Vikings have killed the Leprechaun or he is paralyzed at the very least. I step out to view my handiwork.

Only to find the Vikings haggling with the Whippleskin over the price of some goods. The short bastard is selling them Ultra Sleep Deluxe Pillow Twin Packs!! I see him offer me the most malicious of smiles.

Seems like he is selling them for the cheap price of just any two of my limbs. To the Vikings that’s one hell of a catch.