The Serial Addict

When I was 7 years old and addicted to playing blindfolded chess I used to spend hours in the dark trying to remember strings of moves and positions, over the next few weeks I spent so much time blindfolded that when I finally removed the blindfold I was screaming in pain from the sunlight, my eyes had become sensitive to the light, this is a trait I carry to this day, and also the reason why you will often spot me wearing sun glasses at night (not as many people had previously deduced that I was merely a wanker).

Over the years of my misspent youth and 20s I have been addicted to various activities, past times, behaviors, passions, and other overwhelming needs that have left me debilitated. My thumbs are slightly crooked due to being addicted to playing Halo1, 2 and 3 on the X Box. My body is littered in scars when I had that two month addiction to nude Paint Ball; if you look really closely at the scars on my back I believe it forms the northern tip of Australia.

When I was 14 years old my mom had to pick me up from the police station, I had been addicted to listening to Ice Cube songs and had proceeded to ‘shoot a cop’ with my BB gun. Even though I was grounded for a year, I was not addicted to that. Instead I spent that time being addicted to playing Monopoly at home with my mom and dad. More recently I have also been addicted to online poker, snooker, eating burritos (an addiction I struggle with to this day), peached green tea (try drinking 12 of these a day, makes you dance instead of walk), checking my FaceBook account, a short but terrible bowling phase, playing Call of Duty on the computer at work, imitating Dave Chappelle, and Jet Skiing Polo.

It seems like everybody is addicted to something nowadays but for someone like me, the addiction happens for a fast intense period ranging from a few days to a few months to sometimes a span of years. I move from one addiction to another like a horde of locusts devouring all in my path. It’s pretty taxing, other than that period where I was addicted to taking power naps, which was pretty relaxing actually.

My latest addiction per say seems to be temperamental in nature, or you could say more to do with the temperature. It seems that in the midst of a blistering summer I have become addicted to freezing myself indoors. Nothing less that sub zero degrees for me nowadays, I like everything ice cold. I have the perfect tool for my chillaxed addiction, a Norwegia 1.5 HP Portable Air Condition. This monster is built for power, I am talking climate altering capacity, put in any room and 90 to zero in 60 seconds.

It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, whether I’m watching reruns of Fawlty Towers or showering for the fifth time that day, I like it super cold. All I have to do is plug the Norwegia in and my addiction of the moment is satisfied.

This could be an addiction for the long haul. Or until winter at least.